And just like that, it's over.

It's about time to bid farewell to Frog Farm. It's been an amazing experience and I'm sad to see it go. I've learned so much, met so many great people, worked so hard and enjoyed myself so thoroughly - yet still feel like I haven't accomplished enough; like I simply haven't had enough time.

Some things I haven't paid enough attention. This blog for instance! There are so many more experiences I would have liked to share! I wanted to describe permaculture techniques I've learned like sheet mulching, and creating guilds. I wanted to describe in poetic detail what it is like to be circled around a campfire, feverishly beating on drums, reconnecting with some kind of ancient spirit. Or how it is dropping all modesty, revealing a white ass, and skinny dipping with a group of hippies. Not only do I feel like I've neglected this blog, but I've also neglected friends; in my inbox lie too many unanswered emails, and there are letters in my head still waiting to be written (I won't even mention the unmade phone calls).

I even feel like I've let myself down, like I haven't accomplished things I had intended to. With my busy schedule, yoga was one of the first things to go, and surprise, surprise: I'm still not a master meditator. I've been reading a lot, but like all good things, it's not enough! I'm happy with where my drawing skill is, but I'd sure be happier if I'd been drawing another 30-60 minutes per day. I've hiked around The Mountain a few times, quieting my restless mind, writing poetry, daydreaming, and drifting in life's flow - but I still don't have the story for my book and most tellingly: I haven't yet made it to the top of The Mountain.

I have whittled away at some important tasks, but it never feels like enough. It never feels like there's an abundance of time. A rural life is supposed to have a slower pace, right? You're supposed to be able to stop and smell the flowers, no?

It makes me wonder why, but I think I have it figured out. This may sound like a load of new-age, spiritual mumbo-jumbo, but it all has to do with my own perception of the world... where my consciousness is at. Here I am, a trained city-boy, accustomed to running around from one task to the next, measuring my success in terms of accomplishments. Rural life isn't like that, but me bringing that mentality here makes it that. The mind is an amazingly powerful device, and I'm convinced that it literally creates the reality it wants - or perhaps more accurately, creates the reality it's accustomed to. Have you ever met an absolute pessimist, someone who just complains all the time? You could stick them in the mythical Garden of Eden, where they have everything they could ever possibly want or need, and they'd STILL complain! That's the power which each of us have, the power to perceive reality however we wish. It requires constant attention to be content, to be happy with what is.

You just witnessed a blog post of me lecturing myself.